Wednesday, August 13, 2008

kissing babies

Today I am going to give some advice to those of you who may be trying to make a positive impression on new people -- this could be a job interview, a pitch for a product, meeting the new inlaws or just trying to speed date.

For your information, I have given lots of interviews and met lots of people in my short rein as the only basset hound worthy of the highest public office and know what I am talking about. These hints are solid, some of which I should follow myself on a regular basis.

1. Putting your paws in someone's crotch when you first meet them is not good form.
2. Don't forget to lift your leg before entering the room, not after you arrive.
3. Chewing on the pencils or table legs is probably not going to get you into the second round of
4. References should be positive, so maybe not the one from the lady with the dead yew in her front garden.
5. If things are going bad, you can always roach or commando crawl and everyone will think you are cute and love you any way.

ernest workforce management consultant to the masses


Sophie Brador said...

Ernest! I'm in trouble. I only roach in snow and I don't commando crawl. Mind you, I don't do the crotch thing, the leg lift or the chewing. And my neighbours love me. I think I'm in! Problem is, what do I do then? Can I sleep?


Sparky said...


This is very good advice, indeed! Fortunately I am able to both roach and crawl, so I think I can get through this!


wally said...

I just skip straight to 5.

wally t.

ps. My ma ape wants you to know that she thinks that photo is the greatest thing ever.

Joe Stains said...

you are a wealth of information. I would have to make a stain though, that is what I do?!